Author Archives: azulitas

Painting Eyeballs on Chaos

 

“My foot slips on a narrow ledge: in that split second, as needles of fear pierce my heart and temples, eternity intersects with present time.  Thought and action are not different, and stone, air, ice, sun, fear, and self are one.  What is exhilarating is to extend this acute awareness onto ordinary moments, in the moment-by-moment experiencing of the lammergeier and the wolf, which, finding themselves at the center of things, have no need for any secret of true being…To be anywhere else [but the present] is “to paint eyeballs on chaos.””( Dogen Zenji, Shobogenzo)  (249)

-Peter Matthiessen  The Snow Leopard 

 

It has been over a year since I read Peter Matthiessen’s The Snow Leopard. I have read and listened to many other books since then, but I think more images from his expedition to mountains of Nepal have stayed with me than from the rest of the stories combined. It is a very beautiful book. What he saw, how it affected him, and the words he used to share the experiences really resonated with me. If I was going to write a review of it I would have to keep returning to the thesaurus to find all the possible synonyms for breathtaking.

Journal sketch from 2016

If it had not been a borrowed book (Thanks, Jim) I would have underlined many passages, but towards the end the phrase “painting eyeballs on chaos” just reached out and grabbed me and I have been exploring it in my mind and in images ever since.  Any one who knows my art work knows that for years I have literally been painting eyeballs (and hand and birds) on and in chaos. Depending on the piece, the day and my mood there are many explanations of what all those chaotic swirls of color and pattern might signify. There is not even a consistency within my portfolio as to whether the writhing shapes are positive or negative, internal or external, but they are certainly pervasive. However since spending so much time thinking on this phrase and what it meant to Matthiessen I have wondered how much of what I am trying to express in my art work could be simplified down to the problem of not being in the present and needing to get there.

Sitting down to write this post reminded me that I never read  Dogen’s Shobogenzo that Matthiessen is quoting, so I have just ordered a copy.  I have read many Christian Mystics whose focus on mindfulness I believe is very close to the Buddhist idea of Zen, but it will be interesting to see if his writing matches what I expect (well, if I can understand a 13th century Zen master at all).  Recent correspondence and conversations on meaning with intriguing friends have my thoughts going in many different directions, but I feel like somehow they will all spiral back together to the importance of being present here and now.

Anyway, this post is not a book report, a dissection of the meaning behind my art, and certainly not a dissertation on philosophy or religion.  I really just wanted to share that as I continue to explore these ideas I am now not only painting and drawing eyeballs on chaos, but I am tattooing them on as well!

Chest Tattoo 12/1/18

Colored Pencil, March 2018

Acrylic on Board and Frame, April 2018

Mixed Media on Wood, July 2018

Finally Finished

 

“It took too long for her to realize that what she thought were whispers from deep within the stone were actually just the echoes of her own tangled desires.”

 

I am so glad to finally be finished with this painting. I have been working on it off and on since May, and honestly it feels even longer. I put the final touches on it this morning in time to take it to the Sautee Nachoochee Center for the next show. It will feel very good to start on something new.

 

1/2 Price – Fully Exciting!

I think today was my most rewarding day in the tattoo shop so far. I got to tattoo two original pieces and they both turned out like I wanted them to.

During October the prompts for Day 14 of Inktober/Drawlloween were Clock and Skeleton. I did a sketch that I posted but I felt like I had done it backwards. The face of the pocket watch should not have been facing the inside of the hand. I kept redrawing it to try and get it right.  The new drawing is similar but much more logical. When I finally felt like I had it I added to my little book of flash that I have been working on. What I most want to do as a tattoo artist is create original drawings that people like enough to let me put on their skin.

Jonathan came in today with his wife so she could get a tattoo from Candace, but as she was working on her paperwork he asked if the 1/2 price apprentice tattoos were still available. I told him they were and gave him my book of drawings. I was thrilled when he told me he liked the Time in Hand drawing. We enlarged it 120% so it fit nicely on the side of his leg.

I am still working slower than I would like, but I felt very happy with the quality of my lines and the saturation of the blacks. I know I have said this before, but I think I will keep saying it again and again. It is so amazingly rewarding to be able to put my own drawing on someone’s body. I am so excited. 🙂

Time in Hand

Then after Jonathan I got to give my friend Martha her third tattoo. She had actually asked me to do a portrait of her dog Wolfie for her first tattoo but I did not think I was quite ready for that. We did a simple outline to start with but since then I had been working on sketches of her best little buddy. Today we both felt like we were ready and we are both happy with the results.

Wolfie (11/11/18)

Of course I will tattoo anything (within reason and my ability) that someone brings into the shop and requests, but I now that I am getting more confident with this medium I hope more and more of my friends will talk to me about their ideas and let me draw up designs for them. And I will keep drawing my own ideas in hopes that as people flip through the book they may find the design they did not even know was what they wanted.

The 10 & 20 Dollar Tattoos

Yesterday i gave my last $10 tattoo. Overall I think I did 9 in the $10 to $20 range over about a month and a half. Though I don’t know that I will ever be able to sit down and make permanent marks on someone else’s skin without feeling nervous I have gotten a whole lot calmer about it. I still have a lot to learn, tons and tons to learn, but my lines are now pretty consistent and smooth and I feel a lot more confident. The pieces that are my original drawings are of course my favorites, but each one is still exciting.  The next phase of my apprenticeship will be giving half price tattoos. Right now of course I still need to gain experience doing whatever design someone walks into the shop with, but my hope is to be able to do more and more original pieces. For me that is what this is really about.

 

Inktober and Drawlloween

October is over, but apparently I still have some halloweenish drawings left in me…

Drawlloween Day 31: Frankenstein

Dr. Victor Frankenstein is a rather sad subject for my final October drawing prompt, but he seemed more interesting to try and capture than his monster. I am going to miss the challenge of trying to complete a drawing every day.

Drawlloween Day 30: Bride

Drawlloween Day 29: Mary Shelley

Drawlloween Day 28: Raven

This one could actually use a bit more tweaking, but I am tired. As the month of October wanes overall I am pleased with the drawings I have created, but there are few I feel like I will revisit and try to improve. This is one of them.

Drawlloween Day 27: Swamp Thing

The little toad from yesterday makes a great hat for my swamp thing.

Drawlloween Day 26: Toad

Today’s prompt was Toad, so I drew one, but I have been wanting to draw a Poisonous Dart Frog since Scott and I talked about them last week, so I drew several of them as well.

Drawlloween Day 25: Dark Forest

** insert inspiring quote about following the path back to the light here **

Drawlloween Day 24: Hunter’s Moon

This drawing is based on a concept I had in mind for a half tattoo sleeve. I got a little more complicated than I would want to do for a tattoo, but I believe the idea is still a good one. I think it would wrap around an upper arm well and could easily be added on to if a full sleeve was desired later. If the original person I imagined as the canvas for it never comes back around I wonder if I could find someone else who would be interested.

Drawlloween Day 23: Monster

And if the monster’s presence becomes a comfort?

Drawlloween Day 22: Pumpkin

Why do we so often act like we have pumpkins for brains?

Drawlloween Day 21: Alien

I must confess I did not draw this alien today. A couple of weeks ago I had a tattoo client who said he liked aliens, Aztecs and Polynesian designs. So I combined them all into a sketch of this guy. He ended up only wanting a small filler piece, but when I got my light box I redrew him with nice clean lines, and then tonight in honor of the Drawlloween prompt I took him into Photoshop for some quick coloring.

Drawlloween Day 20: Serpent

Inktober Day 19: Scorched

Bhut Jolokia

I went ahead and took the whole day off to drive to Tennessee, even though I made the kids go to school for half the day, so I was able to get my drawing for today done early. I had no interest in drawing a seance, especially not while on my way to a Memorial Service. I had some neat ideas about drawing scorched trees, but ended up deciding on a ghost pepper, which I hear will leave one’s mouth quite scorched.

Drawlloween Day 18: Rat
Inktober Day 18: Bottle

I would rather find a message…

Drawlloween Day 17: Werewolf

No one likes to be backed into a corner

My original werewolf scared me a little so I tried another that flips which parts are human versus wolf. He is sad instead of scary. The middle one is my attempt at making a tattoo-able image.

Drawlloween Day 16: Goblin
(Inktober Day 16: Angular)

The Goblin in his Crystal Cave

This little Goblin just leapt out of my pen this morning. He did not take enough time to be a very good distraction so I decided that he needed an angular environment so I could meet both challenges at once. I googled ‘crystal caves’ to see what kind of source material I might find and I am now pretty fascinated by the extremely hot and humid (like over 130° F) crystal caves below Naica, Chihuahua, Mexico as well as the very different but still interesting Crystal Shrine Grotto at a cemetery in Memphis.

Drawlloween Day 15: Owl

I drew like half a dozen owls today. These three are my favorites.

Inktober Day 14: Clock
Drawlloween Day 14: Skeleton

This one does not make sense, but I do not want to skip a day. I will redo it when I am not so very very tired.The view should be of the other side, with the thumb bones on top.

Drawlloween Day 13: Grave(yard)
This intriguing little statue is in the small graveyard in my neighborhood. I wanted to draw it from life but by the time I was home it was getting too dark, so I worked from a photograph I had taken back in March. I would like to try again sitting there in front of it. I think there are more interesting angles to be found.

Inktober Day 12: Whale

I wanted this to look like the swimmer was inside the whale, a Jonah using vast amounts of energy swimming in one direction while the whale took him the opposite way, but it didn’t really work.

Drawlloween Day 11: BatBefore this drawing I don’t think I had ever spent much time considering bats or their anatomy. I am now rather fascinated with the way their wings have an uncanny resemblance to umbrellas.

Inktober Day 10: FlowingAmicalola Falls – Detail

I have visited and drawn many waterfalls this summer and fall. In most of my drawings the water is really just represented by white space, defined by the rocks or foliage around it. I thought that by doing this drawing from a still photo rather than onsite I would be able to capture the water itself more clearly, but I found myself doing the same thing. On my next visit waterfall visit I think I may try to chose a small section and see if I can figure out a way to actually draw the flow of water.

Inktober Day 9: Precious
Drawloween Day 9: Spider BabyThis one totally freaks me out. I am so glad the old baby-delivery stories are about storks, not spiders.

Drawloween Day 8: Yōkai

I did not know what Yokai were before this prompt. Turns out they are a class of supernatural monsters, spirits, and demons in Japanese folklore, but many of them are part animal.

Inktober Day 7: Exhausted
Drawlloween Day 7: Haunted Object

Self Portrait with Insomnia

Drawlloween Day 6: Ghost

Pencil sketch while listening to a Grateful Dead cover band. Should have made her doing the chicken dance.

Drawlloween Day 5: Labratory

I admit to using photoshop to making this one more dramatic.

Inktober Day 5: Chicken

This prompt seemed like one of the most uninteresting, but somehow ended up being one of my favorite drawings.

Inktober Day 4: Spell
Drawllowen Day 4: Mushroom

One of the things that has been so neat about these drawing prompts is that they allow me to do different kinds of drawings of different sorts of things than I usually do, but this one looks like the majority of my doodles.

Drawloween Day 3: Cryptid Three Yeti Moon

I sketched this over 5 years ago for a friend of a friend, but it was fun to revisit it.

Drawlloween Day 2: Black Cat

Drawlloween Day 2: Black Cat

Inktober Day 1: Poisonous

Drawlloween Day 1: Witch

Drawlloween Day 1: Witch

Instead of doing Illustration Friday for the month of October I am going to try and do an ink drawing everyday using the prompts from Inktober and/or Drawlloween. Celtic Crow has asked all the artists that work there to also come up with lots of Halloween themed flash for the month, so I will be trying to do drawings that will work for that as well. Rather than create a new post every day for each drawing I will just add them to this post.

Drawlloween Prompts

Inktober Prompts

 

 

Walking to Waterfalls: Linville Falls

I don’t know that I have anything new to say about how much am I enjoying my drawing hikes. Each time I go just reinforces the fact that it has become my favorite thing to do. And I think my most recent drawing is improved over previous attempts.

Drawing at the top of Linville Falls

This past weekend I went home to western North Carolina for a quick visit and to take my niece on a horseback ride around the Moses Cone Estate in Blowing Rock. I had never been on a horse before (don’t think I had ever even touched one) so I excited for a new experience. During my childhood our family walked around Bass Lake on the estate often. I remember not only the walks, but also the sense of magic I felt there. Though I cannot recall the details the feeling and mood of the fanciful stories I would make up about the fairies and other little folk that inhabited the lily pads, moss covered rocks, and trees with perfectly shaped and sized openings for their doorways are still clear. I also remember seeing the horses and their riders pass by on the far side of the lake on their way through the maze and up to Flat Top Manor. As a little girl I wondered what that might be like, now I know.  My niece and I had a wonderful time on our 2 1/2 hour ride. The weather was perfect and after I got over my initial nervousness it was nice to watch the scenery as we slowly meandered up the path. But as fun as it was I found I missed the connection with the trail and the sites along it that I feel when walking on my own two feet, as well as the ability to set my own pace.

On my way back to Georgia the next day I decided I should take try and fit in a walk and some drawing. At first it seemed like all the waterfalls were in the opposite direction of my route, or at least required quite the detour, but it turns out that Linville Falls could not have been more on my way. Back in college I went camping in the gorge a couple of times, but I had never been to the falls. They were the perfect choice, a non-strenuous walk on wide well-maintained trails to breathtaking overlooks. I spent about an hour at the Emerson’s View overlook doing a pencil sketch of the falls, then visited the other overlooks and spent another hour working in oil crayons on a drawing of the rock formations at the top of the falls. There were more fellow site-seers than I usually see in Georgia, but once I got in the zone of drawing I did not even notice them. I know I keep saying this, but it really was a perfectly lovely experience. There are two more trails that start at the visitor’s center so next trip to NC I would like to try one or both of them. I may need to start padding all my trips with extra time for walking and drawing.

First Official Apprentice Tattoo

This afternoon I gave my first tattoo as a certified apprentice. A young man came in as walk-in with a limited budget and was happy to sign the paperwork saying he understood I was a newbie in exchange for a $20 tattoo. He didn’t give me much explanation as to what the cyclops woman devil anchor meant to him, but my dear sleuth friends believe it may be a symbol for the goddess Diana.

I am very happy to be able to practice my technical skill on any design, but it will be especially exciting when I can do my own original designs. I am working on lots of drawings that I will be posting soon.

Illustration Friday: Anonymous

“Despite their near constant use of masks they did not really want to be anonymous.”

For Illustration Friday: Anonymous